“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a FUTURE.” Jeremiah 29:11
This scripture is ringing in my heart right now. All of these emotions I have that are flooding my body. My head is spinning, and I am not sure what I should be doing, thinking, or even feeling. I am happy, I am excited, and we have a great new adventure ahead of us. Together! But, why do I feel so guilty? I am sad that I am moving. I am sad to leave the people and friends that we have met, and I feel guilty for doing so. I am sad that I am leaving a home that I love. I am excited to move into my new home, my new surroundings. I am full of emotions and thoughts and everything in between.
The more I think of this scripture, the more I realize that what I am feeling is not guilt, it is the fear of change. Change has made its way once again into my life and change is HARD. When I read the scripture, Jeremiah 29:11, I come back to reality. This is God’s plan for our lives. This is what HE has ordained. So, why do I allow all of these emotions and feelings that have me confused and scared and happy and sad? It’s all about change and the unknown.
It seems that “Change” has been a constant in my life for the past 12 months. I know it is not just me, but it sure seems that way. Change! Taking me from the known to the unknown. Stepping out on FAITH and believing you are not alone. Change! Yes! The verb – the action word – that means what is, will not be. Change! It could be good, it could be bad, it could bring rewards, or could bring us hurt.
Let’s talk about this change that I feel is all my own. I retired almost a year ago. My life changed, and I began a new routine and a new way of thinking! I was so happy and so excited!! I wasn’t on a set schedule unless I wanted to be on one. I didn’t have to answer to anyone unless I wanted to. I get to spend more time with my husband daily and do the things we enjoy as a couple. This change was good for me. I am going to love this new lifestyle.
Wham! My change is coming too fast—can’t catch my breath, not going like I thought it would. Just as I was ready to retire, I buried my mother-in-love. Not a good change in my life. In fact, it brought on a whole new set of feelings. Change! As I began to cope with her death, my only living aunt passed. Not the change I was planning. Those feelings were intensifying, and I didn’t know why God had this change in my life for me. I hurt, and I hurt deep! Three weeks later, I lost my only living brother —CHANGE— I don’t like you. God, please stop this change from happening to me. All I want is to do the things I want to do, when I want to do them, how I want to do them. This is not it, LORD! I can’t take this CHANGE. Yet, the scripture says – “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
HIS plan, HIS way. Is change HIS plan for me? I don’t understand why all this hard change at once. His plans say to prosper me, not harm me. I want to feel the happiness and safety of how things used to be. Will this change help me walk in the plans HE has for me? Over the next few months, I began accepting the changes of losses in my life. I began to ask God daily, what is it that you have in store for me? Help me, oh GOD, in this transition of life … to accept the things I do not know, to have FAITH in your word. Each day, I asked God to guide my steps and cover me and help me to be what He wanted me to be during this change in my life. I wanted to find joy and peace.
In early February, God’s plan began to unfold. Though it was not me directly, GOD’s plan for my husband involved me. You see, as I was going through rejoicing my retirement, becoming complacent with the known things in my life, GOD sent change. It was not a change I wanted or was ready to accept, but in this change called grief, I became stronger, I became more dependent on God and His word. Though it seemed that this CHANGE that I was unhappy with, not understanding, angry and confused, was His plan to help me toward the good. For the scripture says, For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for us to prosper. He knew that we would be making a life decision to move to a new place, a new city, and state without family or friends, and I would need the courage and the strength to do so. No, I am not saying my family died for me to become strong, but I am saying that in their death, God covered me and strengthened me to be more dependent on HIM. His plans did not harm me. They did not cause me to lose faith, but to grow in my faith. You see, I was bent, and He straightened me. His plan gave me hope that I would feel the joy and peace that I felt before, but it would be a deeper connection with God and what HE could provide for me.
As Charles and I transition into our new journey of life… God has prepared a future for us. He has given me the tools I need to move into this new change with grace and love. We leave a place we called our home for 25 years. We leave the known, and we will venture into the unknown–we leave family, friends, co-workers and church family, and yes, we are sad, yet we are happy that God chose us for this change. For it is His plans that HE has for us, plans to prosper us and not harm us, plans to give us hope and a future.
Change is inevitable, but I learned that keeping God first in your change, depending on HIM, will give you all you need as you step into your FUTURE!
Hello Statesboro, Ga. Thanking God for HIS plan.
June 27, 2019