While experiencing some trying times that were noticed by several others, I got some calls and text messages where people told me they were, “just checking on you”. Each time I replied, “I’m okay…”, something that I am programmed to say.
I think to myself that I should just be thankful because it’s the thought that counts. Then, there were times when I wanted help or needed to release, but didn’t know how to say it. Sometimes I’ve questioned the real motive (concern or willingness) of the ones checking on me. There have been times when someone checking on me asked me for something or some type of favor. This made me think they were checking to see if I could still deliver their needs.
When seriously checking on someone, I believe you should ask personal questions, not generic ones. They should be about a person’s personal life, such as specific health issues, family members by name, household issues, work or lack of work, spiritual ideas, and so on. If you can’t talk personal, then you really don’t know the person. Talking about something personal is a good way to open some people up and establish trust or an open conversation. Many times people just need to be heard, listened to without being given advice. Most professionals listen more than they talk.
I suggest if you just check on someone, be genuine! Don’t call just to say you called or because you have five minutes between meetings. If you’re checking on someone to satisfy your own personal need, I suggest you look in the phone book and pick someone randomly to just “check on”. Again, when authentically checking on someone, I feel that you should be personal first! Be prepared to listen 90% during the conversation, if needed and try not to force an unwanted conversation on someone. Do these things if you are ‘just checking on me’. You could save my life.